Have you heard the Call of the Womb?
Approxiately one year ago I felt a mayor shift in energies within myself.
I applied for an intense weekend course in hand poke tattooing while holding a safe space for tattoo-artist and client, tuning into a sacred energy together.
Soon after I enrolled for an online course for northwest Germanic shamanism / Seidr, learning to work with energies that I have always felt present.
Boundaries and old patterns
Lately I have felt like I have hit rock bottom. Energy-wise, positivity-wise, self-wise.
I’m moody most of the time, it doesn’t take much to get my blood pressure up and me being even more thin-skinned than I already am at the moment.
I feel like I’m failing my two wonderful children, my husband, but mostly myself. Which, of course, combines very well with a self-esteem that is in serious need of a boost.
I don’t have a background where I’ve been taught self-care.
A lot of times it was about sheer survival. Other times it was about looking after an adult and a younger sibling who couldn’t look after themselves. So I’ve always been looking after others, or been in survival-mode. I don’t recognize the signs saying I’ve passed my own boundaries a long time ago already.
But here I am feeling a mess for several weeks already. Being a pain and a burden for those I love most in this world. Including myself.
That’s when my monthly cycles started to act up even more than usual and at the same time I started to stumble across books and Instragram accounts advocating the power of the womb, about the feminine medicine wheel. This sacred source of creating and creativity. The seat of feminine power. And it hit home.
I’ve been living my life in a straight line. I have lost touch with the cyclical.
Yes, I have been tracking my cycles since I don’t use any birth control and I wish to know when I should be prepared. But that’s it really.
Actually, it was the course in north-west European shamanism or Seidr, that slowly but surely got me back in touch with myself. Which made me realize that I had completely lost myself along the way. That I was caged, imprisoned in old patterns.
The Call
Slowly ideas are starting to emerge. Ideas that use skills I’ve learned these past two years: incorporating spinning with my monthly cycles. Using this hand spun cyclical yarn to weave a belt or wrap using the backstrap method. With backstrap weaving you are part of the loom. But mostly, the weaving is centered in front of the womb, the cauldron, this magical source or gateway. There’s a direct flow from womb to weave.
This belt or wrap, with all these energies and intentions, trauma and healing spun and woven into it, is destined to be a warm, soft, comforting and loving embrace to be worn over my womb. During my Flow. Or in moments I need to be reminded of my power, my boundaries, the constant process of letting go of unnecessary patterns.
And so the womb is calling to me. And I can’t ignore it.
. . . <3 . . .